


it’s monsters in your home

by killerbsan (oh_captain)



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/M, Future Fic, Gen, Incest, Not like distant future, POV Cersei, Sort Of, just like a couple months
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 05:22:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_captain/pseuds/killerbsan
Summary: If the Dragon Queen wanted Cersei out of the Red Keep, she would be prying her corpse from it, and it would not be without a fight, even then.





	it’s monsters in your home

Cersei was in the Red Keep. If the Dragon Queen wanted her out of it, she would be prying her corpse from it, and it would not be without a fight even then. Robert Strong was there to prevent any such thing from happening, be it a dothraki man, an unsullied warrior, or any Winter King, strayed too far from the North.

There was snow outside, winter had come, as if those of House Stark were mocking her from the other side, wherever they may be. She had nothing to do, in this moment, where the snow fluttered into the throne room, from cracked windows, and broken stone. The abominable weather had revealed all that the long summer had hidden, it seemed.

A broken castle, a broken kingdom, and a lost war. If Cersei wasn’t so angry, she would be heartbroken. She thought, perhaps, if she wasn’t so strong, all she would do is cry, and cry. But she is strong. And she would never forget that, nor let anyone else forget it either. She is strong, she carried this kingdom for _years_ , she had saved it so many times, had made a home in the most unwelcoming landscape, the most unforgiving court, the most hostile environment, and she had _thrived_. That wasn’t thanks to her father, who stayed in Casterly Rock, sending her ravens basically telling her ‘not good enough’. That wasn’t thanks to Jaime, who left when things got bad.

 _For honor_ , he had tried to explain, _if I do nothing right in my life, if I have done nothing right, let this be it._

He did right by her. Why couldn’t Jaime have realise that? He had done right by her. His selfishness, his betrayal, had at first felt like her stomach had dropped, because she had not lost him to death. She had lost him to those conspiring against her. She had been wrong, about Jaime. The idea of them coming into this world together, and here she was… about to leave it without him. Like a nightmare. She had survived this fear before, she had prayed, but she was beyond that now. She had seen the White Walkers, she had seen dragons.

Whatever gods there were, they had abandoned her, they had abandoned this world.

What was it, she had said before? She cannot remember, her thoughts are so scrambled. What had she done the last time invaders came through those doors? She’d had Tommen then, she remembered, eyes slipping closed, remembering golden hair, and a sweet disposition. She’d had him in her lap, and a bottle of sweetsleep or some other such potion in hand, because they would not take him alive, would not ruin him the way Stannis no doubt intended, his sympathy for children, for her children no less, making her stomach turn. If she could take away anything from Stannis, she was glad it was that, in that moment.

But here she was now. Her armies, both paid, and sworn, being laid to waste as the city was marched on. She wondered what other leaders did when things like defeat crawled to their doorstep. The very word made her want to recoil.

Perhaps they reflected. Perhaps they prayed. Perhaps they cried.

She wondered if this was how Maegor felt, sitting on this very throne, as his people rose up against him. She wondered if he took his life as a last justice, as something they couldn’t take. Her hand was on her stomach, at her child’s life stirring in her. She was close, about a month away from delivery. Now, she thought, this babe might never draw it’s first breath. They would take this from her. Take her home. Take her seat. Take her children. All of them. IT sat like something dead in her mouth.

It filled her with rage. It filled her with soul crushing sadness, that yawned open underneath her. But she hadn’t fallen in before, she wouldn’t this time, with whatever time she still had left. Should those dragons actually attack King’s Landing, the wildfyre caches under the city would activate, and take out the whole thing. It wouldn’t be Cersei destroying the city, but Daenerys, who claimed to want to bring peace.

Queen of Ashes, Cersei nearly smiled at the thought.

But something else rose in her. A sadness.

These were the walls her children grew in. The walls where she had loved, and laughed. The walls that had given her power, a seat, high above all the rest. The only thing she had ever dreamed of. This was her life, and history, her livelihood. And it was being taken. And what she wouldn’t give to do this over all again.

To go back, and have all those moments all over again. To have Jaime in her arms again, holding her, his hands, the both of them, or even just the one, running through her golden hair, and his lips on her, and sweet words meant for no one's ears but her own. She had been greedy, or so people said, but of course she had been. Who is to say she didn’t deserve the world? Who put that limit on her? Certainly not herself.

She would never just be a beautiful Queen, to sit, and smile. And it was not her fault that that is what people had expected. She was not there for other people. Cersei wondered how hard a struggle it was to get that, for those men, and women of the courts. And when she came, she had cast down those chains in a heartbeat, those restrictions. If it was too much for a Queen to have agency, then who was allowed it?

It filled her with indignation. It filled her with fire. Because she had set a precedent. She had changed things. She had left an imprint on this world. She had built something, and now, it was being torn down.

Jaime had said they had no children for which to build this dynasty for, but they had once. They had once. _They had once_. Her hands were clenched, she felt it impossible to swallow for a moment, impossible to breathe. She didn’t relax.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sort of between doing a time travel au, or jaime+cersei escaping au  
> or just leaving this as is. who knows? not me. i'm actually really insecure about this piece.  
> title from: BROCKHAMPTON-HEAT


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